Small-town Americans reacted angrily this week to Barack Obama’s claim that bitterness over job-losses has driven them to hate.“Nope, that ain’t the reason,” said the God-fearing halfwits. “We’s just mean sumbitches.”
Guns, religion and “good ole xenophobie” have acquired a something of a tarnished image in the US, in recent years, following a string of well-publicised “overdoin’s”, but are “a mighty needful part of our culture,” Middle America whooped.
The heavily armed loners insisted that Obama stop making excuses for them and “durn deal with it.”
The comments are not the first campaign gaffe the Democrat has made. Last month, opponents dredged up an embarrassing recording of the kindly candidate’s ole preacher man jawin’ off some about how US warplanes bombing a baby-food factory in one o’ them nigger countries might not be such a fine thing after all. Although Obama was quick to disassociate himself from such hateful notions, Middle America still ain’t rightly convinced.
Barkeep, Lariat Studebaker, whose beliefs include dead bodies coming back to life and what the TV tells him about Iraq, was particularly incensed at the gallant senator’s attempt to exonerate him.
“Critter got more lip than a muley cow,” he hollered. “But iffen it’s a choice of between him or a she-president, gee, that’s a toughie.”
His buddy Junior III echoed the sentiment in spittle, adding simply: “I’m a varmint.”
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