A senior police officer provoked outrage in terror circles this week, and been widely castigated by extremists, after attending a fancy dress fair in fancy dress.“When I saw the pictures of Grampound village fete on BBC Spotlight, I thought I was beside myself!” terror supremo Osama bin Laden fumed. “The flowing robes are a slap in the manhood to everything the Mujahideen are trying to achieve with their courageous attacks on passers-by, and the rubber mask seemed to imply that at least one Briton remains uncowed by my terrible visage. How can this be? Am I not awful?”
Other terrorists have called for a full investigation by the Independent Police Complaints Commission, no matter the cost, and demanded that Britons stop being so fun-loving and dauntless, especially at carnivals, “which traditionally act as a sort of societal safety-valve, being a time of sombre reflection, a sacred space where we can all obey mindless rules for a change.”
“Common sense is irrelevant,” agreed terror mastermind Ayman al-Zawahiri, speaking through the mainstream press. “We have a right to know why British men don’t respect us. After all, we are very fearsome, and have the magical powers of God on our side. We will surely destroy you all.”
Chief Superintendent Colin Terry, who made his tactless gaffe in front of 1000 largely indifferent Cornish folk, has apologised unconditionally to the terrorist world, and promised and to pay all due deference to rage-filled fanatics in future.
