Astronomers at Baluchistan National Observatory, searching for evidence of God’s glory, got more than they bargained for today when they discovered an insulting comment about the Deity formed from strands of the microwave background radiation that pervades the universe.The radiation, which bathes the cosmos, is thought to mark the aftermath of the Big Bang. Mujahideen scientists at the mountaintop hideout cum observatory were initially delighted when the Creator’s moniker hove into view among its wisps and tendrils.
“At first we just thought, behold: the word God written in Arabic again,” said religious astronomer Agar Jelidi. “Of course, we were overjoyed at yet another proof of His greatness. But then someone pointed out that, from a certain angle, if you squint hard enough, it forms part of a libellous sentence.”
“It’s outrageous,” roared fellow stargazer Atif as-Salami. “I have already personally taken out three jihads on Scotland, birthplace of James Clerk Maxwell who first predicted the existence of microwaves in 1864, two jihads against England (where he held the Chair of Natural Philosophy at King’s College London when he made his breakthrough), and one against Baluchistan for being the site of my own contribution to this horrible sacrilege.”
“And I have beheaded a neighbour,” Jelidi said. “When the Crusaders learn of that, they’ll quail.”
“Yes, praise God,” said Atif. “That will unsettle the kaffir imperialists no end, the thought that, for all their guns and tanks, they can’t stop us cutting the throats of our Muslim brothers and sisters from just across the way. It will sap their sense of purpose.”
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