The government is to bring in new laws making it a criminal offence to look askance at soldiers and impose stiff penalties on those convicted of distaining bomber pilots with their brows.The legislation, which is not representative of a ‘Nanny State’, is among 400 new measures in a scheme designed to curb contempt for service personnel. If trials prove successful, say ministers, it could be extended to the Royal Navy by as early as 2015.
The rules cover frowns and all categories of puckered lip and will “apply equally to homeless ex-soldiers,” said Armed Forces Minister Bob Ainsworth, “so just watch out! If you are committing a xenophobic sneer, make sure your mouth isn’t pointed at a gurkha. Naturally it will still be okay to scorn gingers, people who look a bit like they might be on drugs, sexual minorities (except for gays) and the Welsh. Not Black Welsh though, unless they are non-EU residents. If you find yourself becoming very hearty indeed, and absolutely have to disapprove of someone you know nothing about, we guideline you to glare at one of these.”
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