Denier in Hospital after Denying Own Chin

(Shame: a rare image of David Irving’s soul, captured on psychic film by MI5 photographers. The pint-sized psyche is reputedly not on speaking terms with Irving’s body and mouth.)

Holocaust denier David Irving is in hospital tonight after accidentally denying his own chin.

The controversial historian rose to fame for denying Nazi atrocities. But when fans grew bored of these claims, Irving’s love of scandal forced him into making ever more daring refutations.

Following a series of botched denials, in which the would-be free-speech martyr attempted to deny sausages, velvet, and himself the use of rational thought, he became increasingly desperate.

“We can view the chin move as cry for attention,” said psychologist Spiro Wilkes.

Waiting for a lower jaw transplant, the Nazi sympathiser said, “Wwraarrrll waarrrarrrarrl rrawl.”