(Signal victory: lawyers relax at the seaside after landmark ruling.)The Crown Prosecution Service has announced that it will not be prosecuting six youths who gunned down Metropolitan Police Chief Sir Ian Blair outside his home last summer, then fed defamatory lies about the 54 year old commissioner to the press in order to save their skins.
“Clearly, in one sense, mistakes were made,” said barrister Angus Reality, “but the youths were under the false impression that Sir Ian endorsed a shoot-to-kill policy vis-à-vis civilians. Their only concern was to protect the public.”
“Shooting Sir Ian fifteen times in the head and groin as he left for work that day was the only way to stop him,” said youth Sir Omar Alibi. “A shot to the leg or abdomen would have left his hands free to phone for a crack squad of marksmen to take someone out, maybe you or someone you love.”
Youth Sir Hamed Waverley-Davies, another of the have-a-go heroes, concurred: “A stun gun would have been no good either. Even unconscious, Sir Ian could still have been dreaming up new ways to repeal habeus corpus.”
“A crime was definitely committed, yes,” lawyer Marianne Ork conceded, “but let’s not play the blame game. These are trying times.”
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