Muslim leaders from two universes have called for a “Day of Impotent Rage” following the decision of Games Toyshop to - and not to - release an action figure of their prophet Muhammad.“By omitting His Messenger, peace be upon him, the crusader toymakers insult God Himself,” protested radical cleric Yusuf al-Giraffi.
“By their blasphemous inclusion of God’s Messenger in their range,” his counterpart from the other universe agreed, “the infidels make a mockery of our unquestioning Faith.”
The two leaders joined forces to menace passers-by with placards and ‘dark looks’ outside London’s Saint Pancras Wormhole, threatening to boycott their own rational faculties if their demands were not met. But the angry alter-egos deny conspiring to shake hands outside the Israeli embassy, in hopes of triggering a waveform collapse with the strength of a trillion Hiroshimas: “Not in this reality, we didn’t.”
In our universe, Games Toyshop defended the decision, calling Muhammad a thinker “of purely local significance whose role in the development of wisdom is limited, for the most part, to doctrinal territory-marking among the Judaism-based sects of Late Antiquity. While he certainly had an impact on fashion and symbolic hygiene taboos specific to some cultures of Earth’s Middle East, his contribution to human understanding generally is negligible. No insult intended. Our Pocket Sages range is simply aimed at a broader market.”
In the other universe, Games Toyshop defended the decision, calling Muhammad “arguably the single sageliest guy in this or any other world. No insult intended to other wisemen. He comes complete with moon-splitter laser accessory, fiery halo and electric TurboCamelTM battle-mount. Batteries not included.”
Sales of Pocket Sages - which include galactic rebel The Primarch Horus, would-be ender of all suffering Siddharta Gautama, and popular televangelist Pat Robertson - have exploded as the controversy grows.
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