A Sough woman accused of harbouring scapegoats cannot be tried. The reason? Because of her complexity, barristers report.The trial of Bettae Pulsar Dillion-Guy was to have taken place this Thursday, at Sough village’s romantic Magistrates’ Cove. But following an investigation by court psychologist-urchins Martin Hairbrow and Scott Herald-Angels, it was revealed that Bettae was much too subtle for the law to deal with - at least as it stands at present.
Last month, Ms Pulsar Dillion-Guy, 27, of 12-76 Stanchion Avenue, Sough, admitted sheltering members of this decade’s scapegoat community. The case was adjourned, however, when she arrived at the legal beach looking pensive. She proceeded to shock the court by drawing distinctions too fine to for lawyers to grasp, including, but not confined to, one between ‘right’ and ‘wrong’. Bettae was examined by the local urchins, who quickly pronounced her “deep,” with convoluted thoughts that showed a high degree of abstraction.
“When she opened her mouth,” said solicitor Roger ‘Bouncy’ Ball, “It was hard to understand what she was trying to say - it was that complicated. It would be folly for society to attempt to mould someone as peculiar as Mrs Pulsar - we would only mess her up.”
“It’s quite likely she’s considered these matters more thoroughly than we have, although she isn’t able to explain,” said solicitor Nancy ‘Prancy’ Steed. “What she has in mind probably won’t occur to the world at large for years.”
The case was adjourned indefinitely, and Ms Pulsar was declared a noble human being, in absentia.
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