New Quest for Adventurous Prince

Hardly is the blood dried on his falchion, or the sweat of battle aired from his battered hauberk, than bold Prince Harry, fourth in line to the throne of England, is to set forth on a new quest, palace sources heralded today. The tidings come mere weeks after the gallant grandson’s return from the crusades!

The quest is believed to have been triggered by the arrival of a mystery knight at Westminster Cathedral during an orgy of prayer and thanksgiving to celebrate the young lord’s homecoming. According to minstrels, the uncouth knight bore tidings grim and a plea for help from a beast.

Serfs’ groups and balladeers are expected to welcome the adventure, providing there are many lively episodes in it to tell of by the time the nights draw in, including moderate violence and some sexy scenes. The expedition will also preserve their homes and livestock from falling prey to the prince and his fellow young lords during one of their practice ravages.

However, the merchant classes and heathen moneylenders, already reeling under the weight of crusade-taxes, have expressed some dismay at the added burden: “Then there is the risk of another ransom payment, should the prince get himself captured again,” carped heathen spokesman, Moses of Ely. “We were horribly taxed last time to get him back from the paynim, and we have no idea how much this new beast would charge.”

Witnesses have described the mystery knight variously as “a mickle man on molde” and “verie geasie,” but they were left in no doubt that the quest is real.

“Oh, it’s real alright,” said Sergeant-at-Arms Tracy Merrily, who had wished to remain anonymous.

“Its object is to slay a beast which has been putting pressure on villagers in a faraway land: not pressure to blight their crops or hand over their natural resources to the brave contractors of Christendom, but pressure to abide by customs so unfair they’re positively mediaeval,” the prince told startled damsels who gathered on the minster steps to see him off, before spurring his horse into the sunrise. “There’s nothing base about it.”