(I’m going to hurt you ahahahah...: recently deceased post-mistress Mrs. Bradbury from Cradbury pays a terrifying nocturnal visit.)Opposition leader Gordon Campbell has drawn widespread flak for his decision to allow TV cameras to film inside the dreams of his daughter Juniper last night.
Child-welfare groups and enemies have dubbed the psyche-ingress a “cynical exercise in political showmanship” and a “headline-grabbing publicity stunt in the most Freudian sense.”
The dream - in which journalists were trapped on snooker-table that was also fish-tank full of weeds and tadpoles and “special underwater clowns”, before being sucked down a corner pocket into the Campbells’ back garden, only that had turned into an arid, twilit savannah, and then they were chased by a hadrosaur with grinning head of old Mrs Bradbury from the post-office, all covered in blinking fairy-lights, until they awoke in terror - has been slammed by journalists as a nightmare.
“I woke up shaking uncontrollably and dripping cold sweat,” said Leighton Constantine, political editor of the Times.
“When I saw the haddo, I nearly had a heart-attack!” Basilette Elders of Sky News admitted. “We were expecting something sweeter and more cute, possibly involving squirrels.”
“Why did the clowns have smoking metal penises?” wondered ITV’s Piers Monk. “Why?”
But Campbell has fought back strongly against his critics, rejecting claims that his daughter’s subconscious was exploited: “What few seem to realise is that you are all characters in one of my dreams. In dreams, we generally have poor judgement and abysmal self-control. The normal ethical game-rules can hardly apply in a world where everyone acts out their basest instincts. Soon I will wake up. When that happens, I will have done nothing wrong. Yes, it will be very soon now.”
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