(Artist’s impression of the new day dawning through curtains.)This week sees the release a brand new day. The new day, the first since Monday was introduced over 30 years ago, will come after Sunday but before Sunday ends. It will combine elements of most of the early-to-mid weekdays, a hint of Tuesday’s briskness and the wistful abandon of certain squally Thurdsays.
“It’ll be a boon to business,” foretells time consultant Ian Purview, “and a big boon to big business.”
But the government has drawn flak from some quarters over the length of the day. “I haven’t done the figures,” said Home Secretary Hesba Gorvinal, “but, at a little over six months, it will probably work out as one of the longer segments into which the British week is divided.”
While parliamentary opposition has, thus far, kept the maximum period of detention without trial for terror suspects to 28 sunarounds, police have been finding ever more ingenious ways to get around the ban on lengthier holdems: for example, by making arrests during summer months when the days are longer, or on boring days which seem to drag more. The new one is the latest in a series of measures designed to put a stop to these quasi-legal / quasi-illegal practices.
It is not yet known whether the day will be a weekday or a weekend day, but experts concede that its morning will probably be a tragedy for workers, “albeit in a cathartic way.” Nevertheless, the afternoon is anticipated to be slightly Christmassy, “which will be a slight thrill.” Teatime of the new day, whose name has yet to be announced, will be makeshift and resemble a Bank Holiday breakfast, while the evening is to be given over mainly to local matters.
One novel feature is that the new day will have no night, that being replaced by an incandescent period called ‘Caravel’.
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