Saturday 11 August 2007

Future Atrocity Memorial to Go Ahead

This Friday’s right-royal Booze-Up, Usury & Looking-at-Women’s-Faces Event in the Renfrewshire village of North Feeling is to go ahead after all, in spite of what police say is a credible threat of terrorist attack.

The event, which has been organised by Princes William and Harry to commemorate in advance the coming inevitable terrorist atrocity there, is the first of its kind in a Britain already bored of terrorists.

“It’s not a question of if an attack is going to take place in any given British village, but when,” organiser Prince William explained. “So there’s nothing untoward about holding the event now while more people can enjoy it. Were we to abandon our boozy usury plans, then the terrorists would have won.”

“Hopefully we can raise the fear factor,” added organiser Prince Harry.

The event is expected to raise over half of two billion pounds, to be held in safekeeping by the princes in lieu of future victims. Part of the fund will be set aside for detecting and prosecuting bogus victims.

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