Thousands of residents were arrested in Brighton yesterday after having their biometric IDs corrupted by a surge of superheated plasma from the sun.The solar outburst, which is composed of charged particles ejected from the sun’s surface at close to the speed of light, is now known to have changed the status of the residents from residents to resident aliens, and in some cases to illegal aliens, or even terror suspects, causing them to have to be detained indefinitely until their asylum applications were processed, applications which few, if any, of the thousands had ever made.
Opposition leader Stuart Fugue has said the arrests “beggar all of my beliefs”, with many of the residents being arrested twice, or more, during the same raid, due to the continuing havoc, and “some were homeowners.”
But each of the twelve rival Environment Ministers currently besieged in their respective cathedral cities have dismissed calls for their own resignation, in statements posted to their MySpaces, insisting that the arrests were environmentally sound and, in many cases, unavoidable. Defence Secretary Djoolz added that, although technically illegal, the arrests have been made now, so there is nothing that can be done about them. The Brighton suspects are to be deported to Baluchistan to have their eyes poked out.
However, blogging from an unknown location in his newly formed Subterranean Caliphate, terror leader Sir Osama bin Laden described the arrests as, “bullshit because the sun does not exist.”
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