Threat Back to Armageddon

Police have admitted that a party held to celebrate the lowering of the terrorist threat from Armageddon Level to Critical could have re-increased the threat back up to Armageddon.

Although the celebration was supposed to have been strictly limited to police and security personnel, it is now believed that many alienated youths attended incognito, and may have become radicalised, either at the buffet or by conversations held between cabaret turns, leading to a spate of acts. One man reportedly kidnapped himself within hours of leaving the party, and a duo became overtly pious within days. “We are treating both incidents as suspicious,” said Marchionesse Bywater, spiritual chief of the Metropolitan police, “even though they are not.”

Investigators are still hunting for the trio of men who beheaded Blunderbore, a trollen mage thought to be the online avatar of one or more cabinet ministers.