The War of Terror received yet another body blow today when it emerged that missiles fired by UN warplanes in Afghanistan’s lawless Helmand province veered off target and hit one of the outer layers of Hell, freeing scores of suspected Taliban and Al-Qaeda insurgents already killed in this year’s spring offensive, along with countless incubuses and succubuses.It is understood that the Ministry of Defence will compensate the Netherworld for its loss using some old “doesn’t matter” souls of unburied Tommies left over from World War I. However, Defence Minister Hob Lob described the award as a “goodwill gesture” which in no way constitutes an admission of guilt. The minor demons, who are believed to cause sleep paralysis and dreams of an adult nature, will add to the problems of a military already stretched by gravitational lensing.
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